Receiving is Offering

I am brought up in a family of offering. Despite the moral studies I did during schooling period, I have been educated to offer since young. When I was learning Yoga, I studied The eight limbs of Patanjali. The first branch, Yama is about social behavior; about how we treat others and the world around us. The Yama element which relates to offering is Parigraha.

I love to offer. If I have 12 pieces of chocs, most of the time I would share 11 or maybe all 12. When I know about a good investment, I will share with friends who love investment. When I see warehouse sales, I would inform my lady friends who are fanatic in shopping to share the joy. When I see someone needs help, I will try to help. It is not a holy thing that I want to brag about, but rather it is an instantaneous response in me. On second thought, it is because I feel bless to be able to offer. I feel lucky because I have the ability to offer. There are many people in this world who are deprived from having the basic needs in life e.g. health, shelter, food, family etc, while I have the choice to choose what I want to eat, wear or even partying. I am blessed with ABUNDANCE thus I can have CHOICES. With abundance, I possess more than I need and thus I feel that I should contribute to others who lack. This is the principle that is held by a lot of well known rich people around the world. However, the art of offering depends the selfishness/selflessness of a person.

Now, what about receiving as offering? It may sound contradictory to what I have written earlier, but actually it is not. The reason behind it, BALANCE. Alike male & female, hot & cold, yin & yang, give and take work as a pair.

I myself have neglected this balance. I know about 'Give and Take' but I have tendency towards offering because it feels good to be able to. However, sometimes I reject or decline other's offer. I was not being mean, but rather at that point of time, I really do not need what was being offer. So, I thought that offering could be passed on to someone else who needed or wanting it. Little did I realize that I was actually depriving other's chance to offer what they could/have.

Am I exaggerating the matter? Like me quote some of my encounters:

:: Encounter 1 ::
Last year, Shu Hui went to China and bought me a really expensive wool shawl for my birthday. When I opened my gift, my first response was "This is too expensive for me and I seldom wear shawl la! You keep this expensive gift for another friend la! Why don't you offer the sample necklaces on the make up table instead? I don't mind, I kinda like them. Can I have those samples instead?" What I thinking at that time was, since I wouldn't be using it frequently, don't waste it on me. My best friend made big response. She claimed that she chose the gift for me, not for another people and the shop is a well-known boutique in Shanghai. I didn't realize that I made her feel bad at that time. Later when I recalled back, I felt bad for saying that because I did not appreciate what she did for me. It was NOT just about whether I want it or not.

:: Encounter 2 ::
Last August, Shu Hui went to Beijing with family for the 2008 Olympics. I asked her to buy me a collection of Olympics stamps. I have been collecting stamps since primary school. When we met in September, she bought me this really beautiful set of FuWa (福娃) stamps and a limited edition of Ying Ying (盈盈) T-Shirt. I was so happy and I said "Thank you, thank you! I really love them!" Instead of buying on my behalf, she bought them as souvenir cum belated birthday gift. I could see that she was pleased that I love the souvenirs she bought. Later she told me that she actually queued up for the stamps. I was so touched TvT

I am not sure whether you share similar experience. But I had learn from mine. So now, I practice GIVE and TAKE simultaneously. To be frank, it feels a lot better to offer and receive, as compared to offering alone. I feel more sense of balance.

Alike an ancient chinese proverb, 投我以桃, 报之以李。It is an art of appreciation.

Hope this sharing can inspire my acquaintances and make the society a better living place.

We can make a difference!