Receiving is Offering

I am brought up in a family of offering. Despite the moral studies I did during schooling period, I have been educated to offer since young. When I was learning Yoga, I studied The eight limbs of Patanjali. The first branch, Yama is about social behavior; about how we treat others and the world around us. The Yama element which relates to offering is Parigraha.

I love to offer. If I have 12 pieces of chocs, most of the time I would share 11 or maybe all 12. When I know about a good investment, I will share with friends who love investment. When I see warehouse sales, I would inform my lady friends who are fanatic in shopping to share the joy. When I see someone needs help, I will try to help. It is not a holy thing that I want to brag about, but rather it is an instantaneous response in me. On second thought, it is because I feel bless to be able to offer. I feel lucky because I have the ability to offer. There are many people in this world who are deprived from having the basic needs in life e.g. health, shelter, food, family etc, while I have the choice to choose what I want to eat, wear or even partying. I am blessed with ABUNDANCE thus I can have CHOICES. With abundance, I possess more than I need and thus I feel that I should contribute to others who lack. This is the principle that is held by a lot of well known rich people around the world. However, the art of offering depends the selfishness/selflessness of a person.

Now, what about receiving as offering? It may sound contradictory to what I have written earlier, but actually it is not. The reason behind it, BALANCE. Alike male & female, hot & cold, yin & yang, give and take work as a pair.

I myself have neglected this balance. I know about 'Give and Take' but I have tendency towards offering because it feels good to be able to. However, sometimes I reject or decline other's offer. I was not being mean, but rather at that point of time, I really do not need what was being offer. So, I thought that offering could be passed on to someone else who needed or wanting it. Little did I realize that I was actually depriving other's chance to offer what they could/have.

Am I exaggerating the matter? Like me quote some of my encounters:

:: Encounter 1 ::
Last year, Shu Hui went to China and bought me a really expensive wool shawl for my birthday. When I opened my gift, my first response was "This is too expensive for me and I seldom wear shawl la! You keep this expensive gift for another friend la! Why don't you offer the sample necklaces on the make up table instead? I don't mind, I kinda like them. Can I have those samples instead?" What I thinking at that time was, since I wouldn't be using it frequently, don't waste it on me. My best friend made big response. She claimed that she chose the gift for me, not for another people and the shop is a well-known boutique in Shanghai. I didn't realize that I made her feel bad at that time. Later when I recalled back, I felt bad for saying that because I did not appreciate what she did for me. It was NOT just about whether I want it or not.

:: Encounter 2 ::
Last August, Shu Hui went to Beijing with family for the 2008 Olympics. I asked her to buy me a collection of Olympics stamps. I have been collecting stamps since primary school. When we met in September, she bought me this really beautiful set of FuWa (福娃) stamps and a limited edition of Ying Ying (盈盈) T-Shirt. I was so happy and I said "Thank you, thank you! I really love them!" Instead of buying on my behalf, she bought them as souvenir cum belated birthday gift. I could see that she was pleased that I love the souvenirs she bought. Later she told me that she actually queued up for the stamps. I was so touched TvT

I am not sure whether you share similar experience. But I had learn from mine. So now, I practice GIVE and TAKE simultaneously. To be frank, it feels a lot better to offer and receive, as compared to offering alone. I feel more sense of balance.

Alike an ancient chinese proverb, 投我以桃, 报之以李。It is an art of appreciation.

Hope this sharing can inspire my acquaintances and make the society a better living place.

We can make a difference!

To err is human, to forgive divine

人非圣贤，孰能无过。

It was a peaceful and pleasant dinner as I wanted it to be. However, I thought I could have done better.

许多时候，讲者无心，听者有意。偶尔我们犯错了，

Selfless or Selfish

Sometimes in life, we make selfish decision because we want to safe keep the best for ourselves. Is that a wrongful thought? Not really, I supposed. Yet why do we feel uneasy and struggle with the selfish thought occasionally?

Survivors live with face masked. ‘Never let others read you like an open book’, mom warned. She claimed that I am an open book. ‘Really?’

As I dive into the working community, I am gradually exposed to people. Many tend to hide their selfishness beneath charming smiles or smart looking appearance. I believe all behave like that for a valid reason – Security? Fear? Envy? Or maybe greed?

But how about being selflessness? It does feel good to share and it is indeed a blessing to be able to share. Yet, it is not easy to maintain selflessness at all means. To a certain extent, we need to talk ourselves out of it.

There are things which we can share with others, while some, we can be possessive. There are certain things which are meant for one individual’s possession.

Finding a balance between being selfless and being selfish is never easy. Being selfless… does anyone really care anyway?

要在自私和无私之间找个平衡点，谈何容易？

Paradise exists

When life is beyond control, we hope to escape to a place call paradise.

Today I found out that there is really a place on earth call Paradise.
1. paradise (in Guyana , 57°57′W 5°34′N)
2. paradise (in New Zealand , 168°22′E 44°44′S)
3. paradise (in United States , 97°42′W 33°10′N)

If you have been there before, please tell me how is it like.

Tell me that it is non otherwise and it is just like every part on earth, where each of us has a major role to play in our life and obliged to responsibilities.